Currently Philadelphia By Tom Hanks, Denzel Washington, Roberta Maxwell, Buzz Kilman, Karen Finley see related

I long for an intellectual conversation with someone. You know how dogs need to walk every day for their mental and psychological health....I need for my own sanity to talk ....to have a real intelligent conversation with someone. 

I'm such a dork sometimes i go on youtube and look up certain videos/documentaries about things in life and i'll start debating/arguing with certain people...and we'll go back and forth.  Sometimes these people are smarter than me, sometimes these people are "smarter" than me...and I still enjoy that because it's a challenge, and I'm experiencing so much growth because of that exchange.

Sometimes I feel happy, but it seems like when I do...something depressing or heavy happens to bring me back to reality. I try to have fun with my friends but then my mom will call telling me she's going to have start living in a shelter soon...and other stresses from my family. I just got a phone call about some other news...I'm scared because my aunt didn't sound good on the phone and I just don't want it to be one more depressing thing or news someone is hurt or dead or something bad.

I'm frightened. It's things like these that make me not enjoy life.