| Sometimes I wonder, what is it really that makes us have sex?
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| I miss who I use to be sometimes...I remember....well...I've always been a shopper....or liked the latest style or fashions....my mom would take me shopping a lot growing up....she now says she blames herself. When I went shopping with my mom, I would get usually one thing- a shirt or jeans or bracelet- it wasn't like we were shopaholics. We were poor, from the Bronx, and the things we bought were never expensive-under 40.
When I was in college, I would look at other girls...wondering why they were shopping so much...spending so much money.....why they were shopping online...I thought it was so wasteful....
Then after college, when I got my first full-time position, I was so excited....I guess to prove I wasn't poor anymore, I just wanted to buy stuff. I showed almost no control. I wasn't an excessive spender; I still remained a somewhat responsible moderate shopper. Nevertheless, I think I should have been saving that money.
I look now, and I'm like, where did the money go?
I just became the sort of person....that just felt like I deserved everything...spending without guilt...well I worked hard and I deserve this bag...or this trip...or this weekend away....I just had to have the latest of everything....
I have practically nothing to show for myself after 3 post-years of college.
So many little things come up too....I've been helping my mom financially since she got in a bad bad life situation.......I'm going to be going back to school part-time, gonna have to take out loans...something breaks and I need to replace it.....I've finally put myself on a budget and I want to become more like the person I use to be.
I guess that doesn't mean, you have to looking bad, but seeing material things aren't that important. A pair of shoes is a pair of shoes. A person can't have everything that they see and like. I have a lot of junk.....well more than I need. Bags, shoes, clothes...coats....Oh boy, what happened to me.
I need to pursue other interests again.
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| wht the fucckkkk! im soo tried of people all sad about their relationships... like you have your whole life, and your crying/ fighting for whattt.. a boy or girll!. plus you shouldnt let your past effect your future.. trust me your going to get dumped/ heartbroken 50 times before you find your so call true love. &&& then again, it might not last long or forever. just live your life. dont depend on someone soo much, that if they leave you, your like depressed! that we NEVER be me. but im sorry for your problems, but pleassee move on, b/c you deserve better. danisha301@xanga
How RIGHT is this xanga user?! Exactly.
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| I met this guy, that I just simply adored this weekend.
We seemed to click and have a lot of things in common.
It's just always the long distance thing, that gets in the way.
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| I just don't wanna be alone for the rest of my life.
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