| I've always believed in signs...and "meant to be".....I think I was getting some signs that this program wasn't right for me. I ordered the textbook on half.com and it never arrived, now I'm trying to get my money back....the course starts in a couple days....I had stopped studying for the GRE....I didn't have free time to read for my book club....I guess a part of me isn't fully prepared. The loans were not working out.
What I want to do in life right now, is a good solid year or two to save up money, especially in this economy. Then I can deal with paying for extra school if I have to pay out of pocket...hopefully fin aid will work out at that time...or maybe I'll get an opportunity like the Teaching Fellows, where my tuition was completely paid for.  No debt, no worry, no dred.
Maybe some other opportunity is out there for my education to be paid for....who knows....
We'll see in a year or two.
Tamara's right, right now I'm living the life-cheap apartment, job, single, no debt...all I need to do is save up now.
And I don't want to ask my dad for money...I've never asked him for anything...my mom isn't in a good situation now.
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| It's sad paying for school, it stops a lot of ppl from getting a higher degree...my roommate last year got into Yale but couldn't go because she couldn't pay and had undergrad loans...Why is paying for school such a complicated issue? People should be able to better themselves despite of money.
I'm starting to feel a little stressed, bc I want to go back to school for Speech Pathology. I know this is the job and career path I want.
Now I'm trying to figure out how to pay for the prereq. courses because in our prgm we are going to be non-marticulated and can not apply for fin aid.
I tried getting a private student loan, but I wasn't approved so far in the process. I don't know why bc I think I have good credit, I pay things on time.
So IDK....should I struggle and live on little means...and try to pay for this out of pocket...these pre-req. from Jan-August will probably cost about $8,400-$10,000.
Sigh, I'm about to see how hard life can be.
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| When you're alone every noise scares you....dripping water in the bathroom......dishes shifting a bit in the drainer....creaks of doors and floors....people in the hallway....people upstairs....
Sometimes the wind pushes my door open and pounds on it...
I just freak wondering if someone is in here...a man....a predator....
Scary.
I just got an extra lock for the door.
It's crazy how we spend a little money for our own separate space....what's the difference between in here and out there? A wall, a door, a lock, rent. One tiny door makes my personal private space. A home.
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| It wasn't meant to be.
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| Being brave to me, is not about getting into a bar fight or willing to face down a bully.
So many men think they are tough or brave, that they are men, because of physical prowess.
Bravery is being able to look inside of yourself and admit the truth......to do what you know is right....right by everyone in your life.
And there are so many cowards out there. COWARDS. cowards.
Afraid to make the right choice....the brave choice.....the choice that is harder....that choice that isn't easy.
Men they always go for what's easy.
I learned that lesson with my father.
In stories and movies, people do the brave thing....the hard thing...in real life...
Life is a disappointment.
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