John Steinbeck "What a frightening thing is the human, a mass of gauges and dials and registers, and we can only read a few and those perhaps not accurately."
Lilyofdavalley84
read my profile
sign my guestbook

Visit Lilyofdavalley84's Xanga Site!

Message: message me


Member Since: 1/12/2008

SubscriptionsSites I Read
OutsideTheBoxView
excruciatingperfection
aCe_KeiAnar
locketine
Beauty@lovelyish
SerenaDante
salvatruca_stalking_havok13
MelancholyRambler
Jullisu
ConvenienceOfIndecision
dollarish@dollarish
chocodawg_ld
soccerdude1988
gutsamillion
Eroticus_Maximus
Aggiesysta
lilmizzie27
sumyungguy69
fake111222333
wordsXwithoutXremorse
TheBunnyTimes
cellokat9
INxEXISTENCE
cuteluvr21
Destined_to_Game
TheGreatBout
daniel__n
Dreams_of_a_Cowgirl
CornLoverr4
edlives
SimplymeLucky
mary4love@datingish
MusingsOfAnAlmostSocio
Millsanicole
Liera
mrsprosa
Veiled_Reverie
AlterEgo909
neverforqetmex3
healthkicker@healthkicker
warangel634
abbylyne
fragilebone
leaveitbehindlookahead
Sondosia
the_earth_isnt_humming
TheXangaTeam
kazejin_137
ohtheinsanity
datingish@datingish
TheTheologiansCafe
pillowtalk@tripcrazed
manUfan420
Kristenmomof3
KFM_x
deathofserenity
Chosen_Defined
TuFfLoVeXoXO
Your_Stupid_Whore
Aznqtie426
WaitingFaces
kawaida
metallic_heels
punkprincess140
Godz_Bathroom_Floor
Dagroth1

Blogrings
I Think I Think too Much
previous - random - next

Music is My Life.
previous - random - next

Thoughts, Dreams, and Everything In-Between
previous - random - next

I think way too much.
previous - random - next


Posting Calendar

|<< oldest | newest >>|
view all weblog archives

Get Involved!

Suggest a link

Recommend to friend

Create a site


Tuesday, December 29, 2009

No debt, no worry, no dread.

I've always believed in signs...and "meant to be".....I think I was getting some signs that this program wasn't right for me.  I ordered the textbook on half.com and it never arrived, now I'm trying to get my money back....the course starts in a couple days....I had stopped studying for the GRE....I didn't have free time to read for my book club....I guess a part of me isn't fully prepared. The loans were not working out.

What I want to do in life right now, is a good solid year or two to save up money, especially in this economy.  Then I can deal with paying for extra school if I have to pay out of pocket...hopefully fin aid will work out at that time...or maybe I'll get an opportunity like the Teaching Fellows, where my tuition was completely paid for. No debt, no worry, no dred.

Maybe some other opportunity is out there for my education to be paid for....who knows....

We'll see in a year or two.

Tamara's right, right now I'm living the life-cheap apartment, job, single, no debt...all I need to do is save up now.

And I don't want to ask my dad for money...I've never asked him for anything...my mom isn't in a good situation now.


Money for School

It's sad paying for school, it stops a lot of ppl from getting a higher degree...my roommate last year got into Yale but couldn't go because she couldn't pay and had undergrad loans...Why is paying for school such a complicated issue? People should be able to better themselves  despite of money.

I'm starting to feel a little stressed, bc I want to go back to school for Speech Pathology.  I know this is the job and career path I want. 


Now I'm trying to figure out how to pay for the prereq. courses because in our prgm we are going to be non-marticulated and can not apply for fin aid.

I tried getting a private student loan, but I wasn't approved so far in the process. I don't know why bc I think I have good credit, I pay things on time.

So IDK....should I struggle and live on little means...and try to pay for this out of pocket...these pre-req. from Jan-August will probably cost about $8,400-$10,000.

Sigh, I'm about to see how hard life can be.


When you're alone every noise scares you....dripping water in the bathroom......dishes shifting a bit in the drainer....creaks of doors and floors....people in the hallway....people upstairs....

Sometimes the wind pushes my door open and pounds on it...

I just freak wondering if someone is in here...a man....a predator....

Scary.

I just got an extra lock for the door.

It's crazy how we spend a little money for our own separate space....what's the difference between in here and out there? A wall, a door, a lock, rent. One tiny door makes my personal private space. A home.


Monday, December 28, 2009

It wasn't meant to be.




Being brave to me, is not about getting into a bar fight or willing to face down a bully.

So many men think they are tough or brave, that they are men, because of physical prowess.

Bravery is being able to look inside of yourself and admit the truth......to do what you know is right....right by everyone in your life.

And there are so many cowards out there. COWARDS. cowards.

Afraid to make the right choice....the brave choice.....the choice that is harder....that choice that isn't easy.

Men they always go for what's easy.

I learned that lesson with my father.

In stories and movies, people do the brave thing....the hard thing...in real life...


Life is a disappointment.





Next 5 >>